


Waterlogged

by neosaiyanangel



Category: Psych, Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)
Genre: Frustration, Gen, Goose CRRRRRRRRRRRIMES, Goose Menaces Any Character In Canon That Writer Feels Like Menacing, Goose finds important-looking papers necessary to complete water artwork, Petty Inconvenience, To Do: Throw Important Document In Lake; Laugh [HONK], Write The Goose Fic You Wish Someone Would Write For You
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 06:10:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21113999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neosaiyanangel/pseuds/neosaiyanangel
Summary: All Lassiter wanted to do was finish his paperwork. Unfortunately, a bothersome creature has different plans for him.





	Waterlogged

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Meatball42](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meatball42/gifts).

Carlton was not having a good day.

Firstly, the office had been taken over by teenagers. It was some kind of community outreach thing for troubled youth. A waste of time; most of them would see the inside of a detention center soon enough.

Second, Shawn and Gus, the slackers, paraded around their checks from the chief. It was a bigger one than normal as they had managed to squeeze three cases in the time it normally took them to solve one. Then they did that weird bro stuff—_which he was absolutely not jealous of_—before prancing out the door.

Third, he had been taken by surprise by a court date that he was sure had been scheduled for next week. He'd been putting off the paperwork in favor of target practice. Looks like he was paying for his priorities now.

So now Carlton found himself stuck at the park, papers arranged on the bench he was sitting on for his perusal. The fountain in the middle of the open area gurgled in a distracting way. Otherwise it wasn't a half-bad place to do paperwork. He was refreshing himself on the details of the case, pencil in hand, when—

"HONK!"

He looked up, slightly startled to find a goose standing nearby, staring at him. Rolling his eyes, he tried shooing the bird away with his free hand.

The bird didn't budge, instead tilting its head in apparent curiosity.

This time Lassiter used both hands, waving vigorously at the goose. "Go awa—"

Suddenly the goose charged at him, wings flapping menacingly. It surprised him so much that he dropped his pencil. The bird immediately snatched the pencil up and ran around the bench.

"HEY!" Carlton jumped up and chased the bird. It dropped the pencil a few feet behind the bench and waddled back in the direction it came from.

He testily picked the pencil up and sighed. Stupid bird. What was it trying to do? What was the point of taking his pencil?

Lassiter straightened back up and turned back to the bench. He was in the middle of brushing his suit off when he froze at the scene that greeted him.

The goose. It had papers in his mouth. A quick glance at the bench confirmed that it had taken a beakful of his work papers.

Carlton took a small, hopefully unthreatening step towards the bird.

It took a step to its right.

He waved his pencil around, hoping to lure the goose towards him with something it seemed to like. "Heeeeere, goose. C'mon now. You don't want those silly papers."

It took another step. Lassiter became very aware of the fact that the bird seemed to be walking towards the fountain.

Another step. It shook its head, one of the papers flying loose.

"No…" Carlton took a swift few steps towards the bird, then paused.

Suddenly the goose ran for it, neck stretching out towards the fountain.

"Nonono—" He took several more steps, now standing next to the bench.

It broke over the side of the fountain, beak hovering just over the water surface.

"—nonono—" Carlton began speed walking.

The goose dropped the papers.

"—nonoNO!" He dove for it.

Missed.

SPLASH!

Lassiter found himself halfway dunked into the fountain, his papers floating around him as the goose watched him. He struggled back up, his butt settling against the bottom of the fountain.

His fingers _itched_ for his sidearm. He began getting to his feet, trying to leverage himself up over the lip of the fountain. "You little—"

It charged at him and screamed, "HONK!"

It again took him by surprise, making him flinch backwards and back into the fountain. The splash completely covered him head to toe with water. He gasped in a breath as he wiped his face. One eye opened to be greeted by the goose seeming to be laughing at him, a series of short honks grating on his nerves.

Sarcastically he growled, "Had enough?"

The bird again tilted its head at him before turning around and beginning to waddle away.

Carlton looked around him at his papers floating in the water and sighed. "Figures."


End file.
